Christmas Letter 2015, The J Fulks

     Happy New Year! We think of family and friends often and have enjoyed hearing from many of you. Thank you. When you think of us, here is the lean review of our 2015.
     Our third grandchild’s birth was THE top highlight of the year. Diane was present for sweet Isla’s birth to our daughter Shayna while Jeff was in El Salvador on a missions trip. Isla met the world on March 2nd, an 8½-lb. smiler. She studies her two big brothers’ every move. Crawling is now conquered, and she begins to walk, grabbing all furniture. 

     Grandson Jackson turned 5 exactly 5 days ago; Will is 2½. For Halloween, the 3 "littles" dressed up as Iron man, The Hulk, and Super girl. But, we think Will’s heart is still with another superhero, as he regularly wears his 2014 Buzz Light-year costume. Their daily play times at the YMCA will no doubt keep them lean.
     Our August vacation was a quick get-away to Miami to celebrate a milestone of 120 combined years of life. Walks on the beach and spending a day with Diane’s high school Buddy Mary were better than visiting the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls. Over 20 years apart melted after the first 15 minutes together.

Miami Bike

Hostess Mary introduced us to a variety of Amazing Race sights, like her Everglades alligator friends (better than Shark Tank friends any day) and to crab shack meals. Thank you for tirelessly working with (former Haitian refugee) students. We’ll keep sending our box tops Teacher Mary’s way.

     Jeff's almost 81-year-old Mom continues to do well. 2015 family visitors to her nearby home included Jeff's overseas Brother Ron and other family members. Five extended visits to Chicago yielded Diane opportunities to savor time with Aunt Bettye, Sister Elaine, and Brother Brian's family.

     High-tech gizmos are a daily part of our lives. These new and exciting items impact our overall health:

• First is the electric toothbrush, firmly prescribed by our dental assistant (yes, we consider ourselves early adopters). Hopefully our teeth will last decades longer than the 6-month life span of a toothbrush head.
• With our two grown children living hundreds of miles away, we were finally coerced into our second technology. The iPhone and its FaceTime feature. (Jeff was holding-out his hopes that a Windows phone with Skype would more than suffice.) Diane’s day could not start any better than to receive a “little’s” FaceTime call. Diane dabbles in using iFeatures, like Notes, the Calendar, and (more than necessary) Photo Editing functions.
• The third technology, introduced to us just this Christmas by Favorite Oklahoma Son Nathan, is the Fitbit family. In yet another way, Jeff needs to stop using his Windows phone as a tracker. One added bonus is the Fitbit’s ability to track our sleep behaviors. We say we had a bad night’s sleep and now have clear proof of the claim on the tracker.

     Our lives continue to lean-in, lean-out, and maintain leanness. Diane has almost daily afternoon walks (sometimes with neighbors, many times not) and Jeff heads out with almost daily morning runs (now sans bulky phone). Diane continues as a homesteading and intensely artsy Facebook fanatic and thrift store shopper, who every so often temps at Evangel University. We attentively follow the 4 reality TV shows that are italicized in the other paragraphs of this letter.
     We are glad that 2015 is over! It was a fine year in many ways, but overall colored with frustration and disappointment. One down[ton Abbey] blow was to Jeff’s Evangel responsibilities, transitioning to his original role of 22 years ago at the University… to enlarge minds and help teach students to think and problem-solve. With God’s mercy and help, Jeff will be a Survivor with Diane included in his alliance. In this one move, Jeff's busy work calendar becomes leaner with the removal of 7 committees and teams from his university responsibilities.
     In 2016 we hope to continue to be mindful of the importance of removing extra weights and burdens that may entangle us and discover new opportunities. We hold to faith (and cradle Grandbaby Isla Faith) knowing our true strength, source, and song. We lean not on our own understanding, but look to God’s wisdom and direction.
     May the Lord’s face shine on you and your family as you leap through this New Year. Enjoy the extra day in February, find unscheduled time, and seize the opportunities to which you are presented.

Love, Jeff & Diane

Season of Giving 2015, Week Four

More gifts for each day of the Season of Giving, Christmas-time.

Season of Giving, Gift #22
Happy Surprises. Our birthday boy was definitely surprised, 2 days early for his big 5th. Happy Birthday to our funny and most passionate blower-out-of-candles, 3 times during the ♫Birthday Song♫  

Season of Giving, Gift #23
God's comforting and guiding presence... which helps one to navigate a tangled and unpredictable world to uncover our destinies. The quote in my picture meme stood out while recently re-reading the true story "Tangled Destinies." Years ago I intentionally left my first copy on an airplane as encouraging reading material for other flyers. And finally for the holidays, last week I re-purchased it :)


Season of Giving, Gift #24 (just one more gift to go).
A Christmas sky song. Illustrated in doodle art. And tonight, one full moon all night long. Happy Christmas Eve and much joy on this special day. (I connected the random dots and cloud patterns in my photo of swirling turkey vultures)  -- >



Season of Giving, Gift #25
The greatest.gift.ever: "For to us a child is born, a son is given." Merry Christmas, a joyous New Year, and love to all. In only 3 months and 2 days... comes spring with Easter time's demonstration of love.

Pollinate the world with the love of Jesus

Season of Giving 2015, Week Three

More gifts for each day of the Season of Giving, Christmas-time.

Season of Giving, Gift #15

Trust, especially when facing smiling super-structures. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5).

Season of Giving, Gift #16
     Psalm 23. Today my eyes witnessed the after-effects of a deer hit by a car. I entered the scene after a line of cars had stopped. In the middle of the road was the fallen deer whose legs crazily flailed straight into the air and then sideways, like a helpless and shaken horse in a wild west movie. He/she eventually clumsily re-gained footing, steadied, and then high-tailed to the safety of the wooded valley.
     Death is a part of life, but thankfully that blind-sided deer's life only temporarily passed before its very eyes. He/she was in the no-win, wrong place at the wrong time. It will wisely lie down in green pastures, for just a time, to be stabilized. Then, head for quiet waters. And, be restored. To once again cross busy roads (Kissick in particular). Be steadied, I pray, my deer. And please don't consume my pretty hosta plants next summer.

Season of Giving, Gift #17
(With my son-in-law in mind) everything Star Wars! Including this Brady Bunch-like medley to enjoy. With you, let The Force Awakens, be:
Jimmy Fallon's The Force Awakens Medley

Season of Giving, Gift #18
"War Room." Dealing with various real-life sticky situations since seeing the movie on Tuesday. Just settle down, focus-awaken, and to your room, GO !?!

Season of Giving, Gift #19
     Micah 6:8, winter 1972/73-style: A down-on-her-luck high school senior. Alcoholic father. Experiencing her Mom's daring and secretive planned escape and separation from her sometimes volatile husband, my Dad. I had no money. No car. And was asked to move seemingly forever away from everything familiar. Anorexic. Quiet. Afraid. Confused. Blubbering. Would someone nearby act mercifully to help a "refugee?" A brave friend’s parents decide to risk, rescue, and house desperate, stray puppy dog… Diane... for months. Decades later that puppy seems like a stranger to me; but, a vivid reminder just popped in…
     Micah 6:8, winter 2015-style: A down-on-her-luck 23-year-old. Volatile boyfriend with a scary record. No money. No car. No place to live. Alone, with hours-away family that could be at risk. Anorexic. Afraid. Confused. Blubbering. Who is the coerced but reluctantly willing co-worker that takes a huge risk? Giving extended shelter to a 2015 "refugee" at Christmas time? One very "Good Samaritan" my son. Open to walking through a “Pay It Forward” act of kindness that seems eerily similar to the one afforded... to his own stray puppy dog Mom in 1972.
     I nervously fidget and recite: “And what does the Lord require of you [and even your cherished adult children]? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).

Season of Giving, Gift #20
The end of 2015 nearing. We still feel banged and kind of dizzied from 2015's labyrinth.

Link to: Still Dizzy

Season of Giving, Gift #21: A crown.  Faith, or egocentric naiveté, mentally connects angled "dots" in this picture (just tilt your head to the left and revert to childish imagination tactics). Think 2015's Miss Universe crowning faux pas, and see a most beauteous crown.

Season of Giving 2015, Week Two

More gifts for each day of the Season of Giving, Christmas-time.

Season of Giving, Gift #8
Memories, and thinking of "It's a Wonderful Life" 's compelling conclusion.... emphasizing strength-sustaining family and friendships and special times together. Three special White Christmas "Sisters" come to mind this Christmas Season.

Season of Giving, Gift #9
     Season of Giving Gift #9 is writers. Without inspired writers, we would not have the timeless Bible. The particular writer/blogger at the link below clearly says things I've not thought of before about the phrase "I married-up."
     39.5 years ago I was not beyond the edge of reason, did not "settle" for Jeff, nor did he sneakily "catch" my love in a weak moment. And vice versa. Despite my harried childhood, there was no “better-half” who was mixed-up, numbed-up, giving a hand-up to perk-up someone with hang-ups. In other words, no fix-up, cook-up or clean-up of a spousal round-up. (Admittedly, there was one bridge to my heart--his sporty baby blue Chevy Vega because I lacked wheels at college. The city bus was my transportation of necessity).
     We pretty much each married-up because, at least in our case, we are better people together rather than separately. We are equally blessed to have married each other. I've said it before (because I'm the emotionally expressive one) and will say it again and again:  I Love him. Always have. Always will.       Married-up?? the article

Season of Giving, Gift #10
     Season of Giving Gift #10 sounds a bit like I am entering "The Dark Side": It is the gift of sundown that brings night-time. Why?

     Heavenly angels appeared, at night-time, to shepherds who watched their flocks with the stars and moon shining. Those startled first-Christmas shepherds might have felt a light-force sensation similar to a paraphrased quote from "It's a Wonderful Life": "If we could swallow the moon, and let it all dissolve, then moon beams could shoot out of our fingers and toes, and out the ends of our hair!!!"
     And then I think of our newest neighbor’s holiday lights that glow in different phases, all night long. At 11:00 p.m. multi-colored lights beautifully shine over the entire front of the house. We can enjoy the view, but only when it is dark.

      Indeed, beautiful sights arrive at night. But, a brilliant light can shine from within us outward, 24/7. There is no need to swallow the shining moon, hang Christmas lights year-round, nor permanently enter "The Dark Side":  “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ” (2 Cor. 4:6).

Season of Giving, Gift #11
< --- Thoughts, re-programmed and re-ordered.


Season of Giving, Gift #12
Season of Giving Gift #12:  Dreams that see beyond the present, and beyond the pains of the present. --- >

Season of Giving, Gift #13
Season of Giving Gift #13: Wonder and awe. Like the reaction, thousands of years ago, of simple and isolated shepherds, and their jaw-dropping look up into the darkness to see bright heavenly angels visibly coming to earth. Announcing God with us!!!! A reaction that might somewhat resemble a curious child's awestruck jaw-drop as he studies. The overwhelming, 15-foot-high, lighted Frosty the Snowman at a Christmas-time display.


Season of Giving Gift #14
Season of Giving Gift #14: Simple but meaningful "earworms" from a portion of ♫At the Cross♫ and song lyrics "such-a-worm". How odd, in mid-December, to hear crickets chirping on our walks and see worms on the parking lot's pavement. Had to take a photo.

Season Of Giving 2015, Week One

Gifts, for each day of the Season of Giving, Christmas-time.

Season of Giving, Gift #1 is a pipe dream, but I can dream: "Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight"...  Peace and goodwill to all men (and women).

Season of Giving, Gift #2 is complicated, but in a twisted way it is reassuring as well. As is Joshua 5:14: "[Joshua asks] 'Are you for us or for our enemies?' 'Neither' he replied. 'But as commander of the army of the Lord I have come.' "

Joshua 5's "I have come"

     "I HAVE COME" is today's gift. In good times and in bad. To experience "I have come," not to help defeat for us others nor to fear His presence, but to stand beside us. To be with us. That we may have life and "...have it to the full" (John 10:10) even during times of shaking.
     Actually, it is a good thing the commander doesn't literally attack. For, many times, emotions are our "enemies." The self-promoting, blinding and lethal kind that so cleverly masquerade and justify themselves.
     In other words. Psych. But for the mercy and grace of God, it is I the commander would destroy.

Season of Giving, Gift #3
I awoke this morning from one of those dreadful dreams. I entered a fast-food restaurant and realized that from the waist up I was naked. I crossed my arms and quickly turned to calmly walk out of the establishment (hoping that no one had seen me), hearing workers at the counter say, "Sorry, ma'm, but we can't serve...." I was exposed, pointed out, and rejected.
     The Season of Giving Gift #3 is: ♫I'm dreaming of a BRIGHT Christmas♫ for all... bright starts, futures, eyes, ideas, stars in the sky, opportunities, and of course bright twinkle lights.

Season of Giving, Gift #4 The Season of Giving Gift #4 is a desire for truth and justice, and safety, too. For every Chicago and Ferguson and San Bernardino police man, and for law-breakers, it's true.
     Solid, anchoring Truth can be found through reading God’s Word, but the truth I speak of needs specific proof and a twist of fate.
     I am reminded of a popular, late-1960’s television drama series. The premiere episode opens… “Name: Richard Kimble. Profession: Doctor of Medicine. Destination: Death Row, state prison. Richard Kimble has been tried and convicted for the murder of his wife. But laws are made by men, carried out by men, and men are imperfect. Richard Kimble is innocent... Richard Kimble ponders his fate as he looks at the world for the last time, and sees only darkness. But in that darkness, fate moves its huge hand.”
     To provide truth, justice, and safety for all, some people need grace + Truth + truth + time (and Netflix Fugitive).

Season of Giving, Gift #5 
The Season of Giving Gift #5 is music. This isn't a traditional Christmas song, but certainly could be. What a voice. What a song. Enjoy Carrie Underwood's rendition of:  ♫ How Great Thou Art  ♫

Season of Giving, Gift #6
I'm a sucker for Frozen's Olaf, White Christmas, big red ball gowns, snowfalls, and the accordion. Mix those with communicating God's gift of love, and I give the James River Church Christmas presentation 5 stars tonight. Early Season of Giving, Gift #6:  Love

Season of Giving, Gift #7
The Season of Giving Gift #7 is pure joy: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance" (James 1:2-3).

Thanks-living 2015, Week Four

Day 23
A mash-up meme of Genesis 1:3 for Thanks-living Day 23. Lights are up in the backyard spruce tree. Phase One of Fulks outdoor lighting is complete, for grandchildren to see. Check!
And, a question for observant SW Missourians: Do we know where this manger scene picture was taken?

Day 24
In need of a plethora of last-minute groceries for our soon-arriving company. Thanks-living Day 24 is grateful for no need to kill a deer. Price Cutter and 3 Walmart Super Centers are each 10 minutes or less away, plus there is a Sam's; and, we are grateful for mouths to feed :)

Day 25
Hearing “Yes” at least 20 times a day is nothing notable, EXCEPT when that “Yes” comes from the same mouth; that of a 2-year-old (“No” is what I would expect). In Thanks-living today, each sweet “Yeth” brings a smile, as I would imagine God feels about my confirming “Yes” to His sometimes most confusing plans.

Day 26
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: ...a time to plant and a time to uproot..." a time to prepare lots of food and a time to clean up. And, a time to eat tasty leftovers. We live thanks and now look forward to the next abundant season: The Season of Giving.

Thanks-living 2015, Week Three

Paris - "Not Afraid"

Day 15
Thanks-living, Day 15, recites:  "...in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?" (Psalm 56:11)

Day 16
Thanks-living Day 16 thinks about a joyful soul, clapping hands, and sometimes a dance even breaks out. And in the joyful process, a lot of raking and mulching has been done.
My Seuss-like poem is full of twirls and spins; just click this link:  And A Leaf Lands.


Day 17
Thanks-living Day 17, I am grateful for an amazing night's rest which helps me to recall God's amazing grace.

Day 18
I recall spring 2015's repeated and sometimes never-ending rain downpours in the Ozarks. Thanks-living Day 18 thoughts are grateful for rains that do come for needed waters and especially rains that go.

Day 19
Thanks-living Day 19 is grateful for the soles of my feet that feel squishy sand and steady ground; eyes to see the stars and sky and all of nature’s beauty; ears to hear birds chirping and laughter; teeth and tongue to chew and taste delectable foods including homemade pizza; the ability to smell those choice foods; hands and arms to hold my sweeties; thoughts to think about thanking; a sensitivity to love others; and, thankful to have those in my life to love... especially a God to love and to serve.

Day 20
Thanks-living Day 20 is grateful for new life.

Day 21
It is snowing in the Ozarks, and of course Kate is great (a picture of Kate scaling a wall was posted on this day). Day 21 Thanks-living and purpose: We had walls to scale at the age of 3, and hopefully we'll have meaningful walls to scale beyond age 63. Grateful that we still can, but would prefer the walls to not be daredevil slick. Tethered with His amazing grace and mercy.


Day 22
Grandchildren and children in general. They bring life, energy, discovery, and joy. I am blessed to have the sweetest little treasures in my family and in my neighborhood. Thanks-living Day 22's heart is figuratively full. And, my stomach is literally full as my test kitchen attempts to replicate the SHAPE of the orange snake dessert (bottom pic from GH) for Grandson #1's birthday. By the time this picture was taken (top pic), Jeff and I had consumed half of the delicious chocolate tail. Snake finale will LOOK better. Next experiment, gluten-free Brazilian cheesy bread balls.

Snake Finale, which "takes the cake"

Not Leaves To Go Nor Leaves To Be Leaving, a Poem

Leaves. Once green. They provided shade and oxygen.

Then colorful vibrancy. Now wrinkled and crackly.

Leaves dizzily circle and spin, like a joyful dance. The yard they need to leave.

A rake dutifully rakes the leaves, from under and atop bushes. Leaves does the rake rake.

A blower blows the leaves. Leaves does the blower blow. Not to and fro, but into piles.
And then, when time is right, leaves to the yard waste disposal go? Why so?

Out, instead, a mulcher. A mulcher crunches the leaves.

Leaves, after all, can become helpful mulch, you know.

The purpose of leaves is transformed and also renewed.

In spring, lush, green grass and healthy trees.

Not leaves to go nor leaves to be leaving.

Leaves renewed and mulched help the growing to grow.

Not leaves to go nor leaves to be leaving.

And the growing includes new green leaves... and, again.

Not leaves to go nor leaves to be leaving.

Thanks-living 2015, Week Two

Day 8
Sometimes we finally ask for directions after banging into walls a few times. The Internet, YouTube, and I have developed a close bond this past year, for a variety of insightful answers to simple questions. Most recently, to fix our noisy garage doors that squeak when opening and closing. Repeated times, we have pulled out WD-40, expecting the spray to reduce friction and thus noise. For only a short time, the noise decreases, but it soon returns. (An info-mercial in the next paragraph? not. A thanks-living Ding.Ding.Ding. light-bulb moment? yes.)
Over the weekend, because of overlapping efforts, also helping Jeff’s Mom with her noisy garage door, the "Aha Moment" finally came. To turn to the Internet and YouTube in particular, to learn what specific parts of the doors to oil. The first and only video opened began with critical information I was not actually seeking: “Do not use WD-40 to lubricate your garage doors. It is more a de-greaser and cleaner than a lubricant.” The helpful Lowes associate agreed with that advice. So, basically, earlier efforts had been naively counter-productive. But now, thankfully, we are headed on the right track.

Day 9
Lists are a part of everyday life. Appointments. Groceries. General to-do's. And now holiday food, gift, and activities to-do lists. Calendars and lists categorize my world and keep things moving on track. The challenge occurs, however, when I lose a list, or if a calendar appointment disappears into thin air. Even though recalling names has never been my strength, and retrieving trite things like what we ate for dinner last night is at times a guessing game (chicken wraps), today’s thanks-living thought is to be grateful for a mindset that is still flexible enough to remember today’s 10:00 a.m. Mazda service appointment that curiously vanished from my phone's calendar.

Day 10
It seems almost mysterious how a just-right reading, or a song, or a fluke appointment strategically located, (or all of them, perfectly timed)… occur at pivotal moments, and even before we are most in need. I embrace thanks-living today, with this thought keenly in mind. Feeling.Undeservedly.God-Loved.*
Today's 11/28 post-script to Day 10 is titled, The Mysterious Continues: A $100 thank-you Touch Restaurant gift card was given to us, by an overly-gracious neighbor. Rather than my husband and I using it, Thanksgiving week we gave it to the kids for a meal without us; and, that same week, my accidental and perfectly-timed 30-minute synthesizing car-ride-for-2 with my son-in-law occurred. Both were seemingly random appointments that, as I step back to gain perspective, seemed to encourage healthy and needed discussion and the beginnings of closure. Sensing.a.Good.God's.Gracious.Gifts.

Day 11

Yesterday I was feeling very God-loved. This morning I feel shot. Woke up this morning from a very scary dream. I still sail the Thanks-living adventure, thankful it was only a dream.

Day 12

TBT - 2006. Scared. Embarrassed. Feeling awkward... I lost a set of body parts and allowed a photo to be taken of my balding head. Thankful to have survived it all. Identifying with a neighbor's chemo-hat yesterday and her painful journey, which reminds me to find comfort in simple thanks-living. Thinking of this verse today, for various reasons:  "And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered" (Matthew 10:30).  

Day 13

(Written for Day Thirteen but actually posted the evening prior) Thinking about tomorrow’s wary day and date, FRIDAY THE 13th. I recall a pivotal Friday the 13th, on a hot and muggy August 1976. We recited our forever vows: “… to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health…”
Gushy-gush alert: Jeff’s ring finger recently swelled and rejected the wedding band; but, today, 39¼ years later, his loyal digit still holds the indentation. It represents his tried and true character. Thanks-living remembers: There is only one for me... I love him. Always have. Always will... Beyond the edge of reason.

Day 14
Some days it is harder to feel the thanks-living love. Yesterday was one of those days. For various and sundry and sad reasons. Those who witnessed the horrific Paris attacks and were then interviewed kindly spoke our language. I attempt to return the good favor: Priant pour Paris.

* It seems that Thanks-living is beginning to speak different languages. This week my husband experienced a whirlwind, including strong winds that knocked down light poles in front of his place of work. Then, on Friday, the horrific Paris attacks occurred. Il fait pleut.

Thanks-living 2015, Week One

Day 1
This Thanks-living Month, I will first take time to be thankful for simple things. This is probably a petty thing for which to be thankful, but each morning I awaken to my frisky and only Pet Lydia. He’s not lung-deflating Felix the Cat, nor tick-taxi Fido the Dog, nor hurrying hamster, nor rabbit rabbit rabbit. In a particular way, He jumps with excitement for his one-time-a-day portion of food. He is as friendly as can be. I am needed by, and special to, him. Why is he labeled as a pet when I can’t pet him? Because my luminous blue Betta Fish was purchased at a pet store.

Day 2
My regular dental check-ups are always filled with uncertainty about potential cavities, or the need for another pricey crown, or gum recession; but, after today's visit  there is much to be thankful for. Good news of no cavities, gums are stable, AND my insurance company finally agreed, after a lengthy debate, to cover their portion of a crown bill. The dental hygienist called the forever insurance wait a crown payment's "ON-&-ON-A-THON."

Day 3
A quote from our subdivision's meeting last night: "Living in community with others can also be the definition of a prison. It is when you move past that, to caring about each other, that makes a unique difference."
It's the natural, Pay it Forward reaction to kindnesses. Like, rather than complaining about the neighbor's large storage vehicle parked in front of their house on the road, offer your larger driveway for temporary parking until the next month, when they planned to drop it off in another state. Or, letting your neighbor know they have a package in their box so it won't sit there overnight. Or, offering your garbage can space to the new neighbor moving in who will probably need extra trash can space for a few weeks.
This third day of Thanks-living posts, the caring community attitude comes to mind. Living out these ideals might just catch on and spread in our most cozy little corner of the world.

Day 4
"Hebrew Word Study: Be Still – Raphah. Tehillim (Psalms) 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am G-d; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Here, the Hebrew verb, raphah (רָפָה), is often translated “be still”, or “stop striving.” But, as ever with English translations (as good and valuable as they are), they can never quite communicate the depth and subtlety of the original language.
This Hebrew word means to slacken off, to leave alone, to become weak and even to fail. Interestingly, it comes from the same root as the Hebrew for “doctor” (rophe), which is rapha (רָפָא) - to cure, cause to heal, repair or to make whole.
So by understanding Hebrew better, we can see that G-d is saying “relax, be weak, stop” so that you can have some time out to recover, rest and repair. But to what end..?
So that we can “know that He is G-d”, and this is not knowing in our intellect, but rather יָדַע – knowing by intimate experience and informed acquaintance.
When we become less, we can get really personal with the Creator of the Universe and witness Him at work." (Shorashim Ministries)
For Thanks-living, I Let It Go, and Let It Be, at least for today. Now, for some dark chocolate, purchased yesterday at Walgreens on Senior Day. Delish!

Day 5
Throwback Thursday, 1985: I am glad that the only snowman or snow we have in Springfield this 5th day of Thanks-living is pictured to the right, with my most favorite people. Through the ups and particular painful downs of life, they are the reason I live, and, they are 3 of my reasons for living.

Day 6
Needle-phobic and squeamish ones, beware. I did it! My first-ever flu shot was braved yesterday! Neuroses about side-effects stopped me in years past, but for the sake of my precious grand-kiddos, anything. Today, all is well after a good night's sleep, except that, for some odd reason, I dreamed about killing squirmy spiders. I experienced four Thanks-living perks: The shot was done by a most skilled, informative, 1960s Dr. Kildare-like pharmacist with zero needle-entry pain; it will hopefully keep the flu at bay this Thanksgiving; the insurance company paid for the preventive measure; and, I gratefully accepted 3,000 Walgreens bonus points, for little discomfort. A win/win/win/win. Now, to convince Jeff to take one for the Gipper.

Day 7
Before yesterday’s outdoor exercise, I hurriedly and only briefly checked the bike’s tire pressure and decided it was fine. That was incorrect. Both tires were on the low side. So, for the entire ride, the uphill climbs required extra pedal-power. And the downhill glides were unimpressive and close to worrisome. On one hand I was bummed. But, on the other hand, at least the tires didn’t go flat; no road-kill was alongside the road stretch; my new, startle-proof, heads-up handlebar ringer, used for the first time, was appreciated by a walking couple that I approached from behind and then safely notified them, “Passing on your left”; I was pushed in the area of perseverance; and, maybe leg-strength was improved on that gorgeous thanks-living ride.

Cool Versus Crazy-Cray, Life in Pieces, & the Empty Nest

(Meme by Plumb)

          Similar to the woman in Luke 15:8, searching for her lost silver coin. She added light to her search, like I grab a flashlight to spot a valued lost item. She swept the house, not for the purpose of cleaning, but for finding. She probably got down on her hands and knees, and the by-product of her thorough search was clean floors. Clean floors happened, but, that wasn't the goal. She needed to find her found. Her valuable silver coin.
         Connection with others is like that coin. Most valuable. Connecting with Jesus, as well as with our children and grandchildren, is more prized than the woman's silver coin. Connection is messy, but it ultimately puts the pieces of our scattered lives together. It takes time; it makes us vulnerable; it cannot be forced. 
          Today, through "Finding my Found," I am a tolerant, salt-and-pepper, or silver-&-gold, housekeeper, especially when with my grandchildren. Maybe it is the difference between cool versus crazy-cray empty-nesters. Cool embraces a larger perspective that marries with an intentional, pre-determined mindset. To understand that it is inevitable. The Life-in-Pieces that young families face. They have clutter. Including my "perfect" daughter. I am supportive and encouraging of her as we attempt to balance helping and enmeshment balanced with connection.
          I have young mom memories that today could make me into an obsessive clean freak. They include our pastor's surprise visit investigating our mold-infested parsonage bathroom on Monday morning with a toy-filled living room. And one of our younger guest's dust-scrawled "Thank You" onto my child's bedroom mirror. In other words, I helped friends feel good about their own housekeeping skills.
          Our empty-nester home is no longer "In Pieces." We have moved past that life phase, and I embrace helpful organization. Our surroundings stay fairly tidy after being straightened, unless I'm on a crafting or silver-&-gold re-organization binge. I have time to every so often disinfect and maybe even dust. But, any time our long-distance daughter's little ones want to visit, they are more than welcome to be our tumbling tumble weeds, and they might even add (accidental) character marks and untidiness to our orderly home.
       My disjointed family heritage had heated generational divides and hurt feelings over disarray and unmet expectations. To the extent that mother/daughter visits between my grandmother and mom were close to nil. I lacked having even one steady grandparent in my life, tolerant or otherwise, and I pray to learn a healthy balance from my disheartened heritage.
        Because I had no steady grandparental connection in my childhood, in Finding my Found I realized the void created by that disconnect. I especially welcome invites to my daughter's starter rental. Sporadically, for just a few nights and days of our lives, who cares about strewn toys, spilled food, nasty morning diapers, foul breath, and eye boogers. And, creative sleeping arrangements. Cool.versus.crazy-cray. I enter into their world and choose to chill (stay Grandma Moana "cool").

        This idea may not be for every grandparent. In fact, it is not for the starchy, nor for the faint-of-heart. Beware of toys on the floor (watch your step), embrace using either unbreakable or paper plates, and heed to potty-training puddles and floods. And, note the emphasis in the previous paragraph's two key words: invites and a few days (except stay longer for a baby's birth).
         Especially for empty-nesters, being 24/7 with young children and babies can be quite unsettling at times. Keep the critical lips zipped. After a time, if your input is wanted, they will ask. Overall, whether or not we like it, those disordered, Life-in-Pieces together-times do help to keep us all young-at-heart.
         Developing connection includes patience and hard work. And, we might even need to get down-and-dirty, on our hands and knees... for playing and for praying.

Cherishing.Genuine.24/7

DeRachel

My Cup Overflows (Psalm 23)

Caution: Watch your step for toys

            This is an embarrassingly candid story shared for young mothers who feel like failures. They are learning that being a supermom is unattainable. In other words, they can’t change a million diapers a day, wipe up endless food spills, wash mega-loads of laundry, happily survive on meager precious minutes of sleep each night, and re-gather the same toys endless times a week. Or, maybe even work outside the home and do it all. AND expect a tidy home.

I raised two normal children, and my daughter now has children of her own. Mine were energetic, created messes, and surprise, for some reason needed food at least three times a day. We were associate pastors at a church, and lived in their 50+ year-old parsonage next door. It was a normal, stay-at-home day. One day ran into the next. I hadn’t straightened the house nor had I dusted in way too long.

Our messy living room had the regular array of strewn toys. The shared family bathroom was its usual undesirable self. It never looked good, mainly because it was tiny with centuries-old, wall-to-wall, yucky shag carpeting. If two people were in the bathroom, there was barely space to turn around.

A knock at the front door caught my attention. Empty-nester, 50-year-old Pastor Richardson, with his always meticulously plastered-into-place [evangelist] hairstyle and perfectly pressed and starched attire said, “Hi, Diane. I hope you don’t mind, but Homer and I have come to check out the master bathroom.”

Don't misunderstand me. I respected our pastor/boss. But at that moment, compared to his polished appearance, I felt small and very scuzzy. As my jaw and my pride dropped to the floor and were sucked into the dank and creepy crawlspace below, my inside-out feelings were many and varied: Mind? Of course I mind. Just 30 or even 15 minutes of heads-up would have provided time to at least create a path to the bathroom, clean the toilet, and put on make-up (young mothers master the art of fast multi-tasking).

As they entered, I zipped my mouth and probably turned 10 shades of red. Why didn’t they give me fair warning they were coming? They had to walk through our strewn living room and the master bedroom to reach the bathroom, plus they were able to see my son’s cyclone bedroom from what was our shared bathroom. And, to top off the embarrassment, they pried up the gross carpet and discovered bad things growing underneath. This is a crude illustration, but it felt like I was at a social function apologizing for keeping my hand stuck down my pants. The bathroom was downright unhealthy.
            What did the pastor tell his wife? And, most importantly, did I expose my poor children to dangerous germs? That event is permanently stored into long-term memory, now filed under tolerance, and can never be bleached out. Along with other untidy memories. Like the youthful guest who mischievously scrawled "Thank You" into our son's meta-dusty dresser mirror, equivalent to a dirty car's "Wash Me" (you know who you are TF).
            We all survived through dustiness and even germs. All that to say seasons come and seasons go. This, too, shall pass, young moms. Enjoy the journey. And: "Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff," because children do put their hands down their pants.

OC-ers (guilty, in spurts) and OCD-ers:  Embrace Psalm 23

"I Am Too Old..." (Ruth 1:12)

     Ruth is a short book in the Bible filled with sadness, intrigue, a love story, and a most unexpected conclusion. All written in just four chapters. Anyone who has rehearsed the words, "I am too old" needs the inspiration of Ruth's main character, Widowed Naomi. Even in her old age Naomi is able to "Find My Found." Three eye-opening revelations change her perspective at her most critical time of need.

     Before diving into the story, however, I suggest a small modification. To consider, for this blog only, a title change, to: The Book of Naomi. This minor tweak will eliminate confusion, because the story and my blog both actually focus on Mother-in-law Naomi rather than Daughter-in-law Ruth. And also for these reasons:

• The Book of Naomi, Argument One: Chapter One opens identifying a few of the background characters. Only one of those characters lives until the end of the story: Golden-years Naomi (specifically "his wife").
• The Book of Naomi, Argument Two: The last paragraphs of the book conclude with the focus on Naomi rather than Ruth.
• The Book of Naomi, Argument Three: This possibly egocentric blogger identifies with Aged and Finding My Found Naomi.

     The Book of Naomi opens to destitute Widow Naomi leaving her temporary home, Moab. She begins a 40-mile journey to hometown Bethlehem to forever leave Moab.

     As she meagerly packed for the trip, she might have rehearsed many senseless regrets:

• Naming one of her now deceased sons Mahlon, which probably meant "weakling"
• Ever leaving the "Land of Bread," Bethlehem, for what ended up being 10 long years in oppressive Moab
• Not returning to Bethlehem after Husband Elimelech's death and before her sons marriages
• Allowing her two sons to marry Moabite women. Maybe that is the reason for the barrenness of her two daughters-in-law and the death of both of her sons.

    Naomi and the family hung on for their lives in Moab. It had sustaining food, and Bethlehem had famine. But other essentials eventually left Naomi. First, her husband died. She mourned deeply, but fortunately her two sons remained to provide essentials and prized grandchildren. They married, and then sadly, one of her sons died. Childless. And to her disgrace and complete emptiness, the other son also died. Childless.

     Naomi and her family for some reason refused to leave Moab. Maybe they were waiting until they could proudly return to Bethlehem. But that never happened. The playing cards Naomi saw (the famine in Bethlehem) seemed worse than the risky cards that were face down on the table. Moab was risky because Naomi's family had removed themselves from their Israelite faith and heritage. Extended family with a support system were lacking.

This photo I took of a bride at our nearby park inspired the following Naomi poem:
No one wants that
I least of all
To be widowed
Destitute and alone.
Where does the downcast soul turn?
Past shadowy hopelessness, despair, and bitterness?
To Heaven's illumined, royal throne
Poised and quietly steadfast
To "marry" oneself
To renewed plans and purposes
That to Him.alone.are known.

     Pride can cause one to earnestly stick with an unwise commitment, believing that the situation will improve. It is like wishing for the next poker hand to be a winner, and gambling until every last cent is gone. Bone dry and bitter. That is Naomi's disgraceful fate as she departs Moab.

     On the road leaving the city, Naomi encourages Daughter-in-law Ruth to return to Moab. After all, it is Ruth's home. Ruth, however, refuses to leave Naomi's side.

     Naomi fails to see her tangible source of hope, and Ruth's as well. Good Ruth is marriage-worthy. I speculate it reveals a lack of sensible decision-making, for over 10 years. Maybe she fears that anything Moabite curses her. And/or, maybe she fears being shunned by her people. Entering Bethlehem with a Moabite by her side could deepen Naomi's humiliation. And, too, maybe she thinks that because of barrenness, Daughter-in-Law Ruth will have no chance of finding a husband in Bethlehem. She omits the power of the supernatural. When we turn towards God, He can restore any situation.

     Whatever Naomi's deep-down insecurities or reasoning, she is willing to plod the trek alone to the House of Bread and face the music of disgrace. Might that music include the pixilated paranoia of people's hushed whispers: Elimelech never should have moved his family to Moab. We survived the harsh famine. And now when the famine is finally over, Naomi returns home. And, adding insult to injury, Naomi's sons even married formerly despised Moabites.* Her sons are gone and both of their wives are barren. Naomi surely has a curse on her.

     Naomi releases every last thread of pride, admits to failed strategies, changes her course, and heads to Bethlehem with Loyal Ruth by her side. Somewhere along that road, she owns up to "the bad, the good, and the ugly" on the path to "Finding My Found":

1. "I am bitter,"
2. "Good Moabitess Ruth is my daughter-in-LOVE," and
3. "I am too old." 

     These three critical self-insights prepare her for the return to Hometown Bethlehem. Naomi does not need to shoulder her plight alone. Even though she says, "The Lord's hand has gone out against me," she is wrong. God loves Widow Naomi, and... surprise, surprise... her eyes are open to see supernatural provision: Irresistibly lovable Widow Ruth.

     Even and especially today the same is true. God loves us. When (not if) we are humbled by age, unfair circumstances, or life in general, we need to deeply search the soul of the matter. And then, plod along the road to marry to God's renewed purposes.

     It sounds trite and maybe even wastefully narcissistic to spend time with ourselves. But if it is done with genuine humility, intangible change can occur. The ground becomes fertile for Finding My Found. With God's grace, Truth from His Word, and with all-important time, the vision of our heart eyes can improve. We are prepared to see things we would normally miss; the random niche in the normal to seek the fluke in the freedom.

     Like when I heeded that quiet nudge to walk at 9:00 a.m., a much earlier time than usual. And noticed a bride in the park's niche (photo above). To unexpectedly capture a fluke photo, for something. Maybe a poem for an already-composed blog. It is the supernatural spin that creates opportunities and enhances outcomes. The remaining chapters of the Book of Naomi (namely, the Book of Ruth) contain many random niches and seeming flukes.

One Good Ruth + God can begin to outweigh "the bad and the ugly"


To be continued, capitulated, and consummated

But Naomi said, "Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me--even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons--would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you,

because the Lord's hand has gone out against me!" 

(Naomi 1:11-13)

most commonly known as

(Ruth 1:11-13)

*No Moabite was allowed to "enter the assembly of the Lord," because they had oppressed Israel.

The Science of Good Dancing

     This first video below demonstrates the fine art of a good dancer. Somewhat controlled yet strategic movement of the arms while dancing is key:

     Here is a dance-moves comparison video. The difference is striking. Commentary is included, with varied opinions shared by Today Show co-hosts:

     This third video shows a 2-year-old just plain having fun dancing... with all his might:

14 Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing
before the Lord

with all his might
(II Samuel 6)

"With all his might" means David was caught up in God's presence.
He danced using his arms, etc., like a child, with no sexual gyration,
so Finding My Found, in God, can be... exhilarating,
( I Samuel 6 says that wisdom, too, is recommended. )